The following is written in response to the following

"Govt. should reciprocate to LTTE ceasefire - Miliband "

http://www.dailymirror.lk/DM_BLOG/Sections/frmNewsDetailView.aspx?ARTID=47228

It is a piece of satire and is purely fictional. it is based on the unreasonable demand by the British Foreign Secretary for the Sri Lankan government to "follow" a terrorist organization in declaring a ceasefire

War on terror comes to a Pause. - NATO and US command.

Reports are coming in that a ceasefire has been declared by NATO in Afghanistan and a pause in all military operations are taking place in Iraq. The move has many people baffled over the intentions of US President Barack Obama and has the republicans calling for the resignation of not only his government, but the man himself.

Thought it is not confirmed, it s is all believed to have started when a terrorists Outfit known as the LTTE decided to declare a uni lateral ceasefire in it’s “losing” war against the Sri Lankan armed forced, legitimate defenders of that nation. The move was supported by British Foreign Secretary Milliband, who called for the Sri Lankan government to match the move. Sri Lankan however would not give in but daredd if they west would do the same.

Following this news, Al Qaeda and the Taliban and all elements of violence in Iraq called a one day ceasefire, saying it would be extended if “occupying” military “extended their hand”. This gesture was what they termed as “unclenching “ their fist.

The move has caused outrage but forced Sri Lanka to pause it’s offensive against the LTTE, now limited to an area no greater than 2 football pitches. Speaking on the matter Sri Lankan President commented “The west has shown the most ideal leader ship and we as Buddhists are willing to forgive them for their hypocrisy and we decided we would follow them”.

The United Nation’s security council however was split on the matter. Russia , China and France opposed the ceasefire despite the fact these nations have no troops in those areas. Reports indicate that , the interest of Russia and China in supplying these nations with services for the continua development decrease. France opposed the move citing “”irreconcilable” differences between the English versions and the French versions of the text, with the French version reading “NATO troops “ with the exception of French troops will pause all operations in Afghanistan. The British say, this is to explicitly state the French were not involved but the French say it is an unneeded comment.

Speaking to us on the matter, UN secretary of state said “the current pause in the fighting will allow the UN to finally asses the population of the affected areas. Over the past few years, we have predicted population decreases with increasing fatalities but we later in reality found out that high birth rates in these areas , counter this effect and continue to increase the population, leaving our aid estimates far below what people really need “.

How is the US electorate reacting to the Obama promise to kill Bin Laden. John McCain stated in a statement released past midnight “the American people voted for change, but this kind of change is un productive as it seeks to destroy our mission “. Asked on what the mission was , his spokesmen stated “to destroy out enemies”.

The Average voter however wasn’t so mad. Take John, the Logger, who runs his tree cutting business making just more than 250 000 per year. He said “First it was socialism, and now they are bringing Peace to the world, this fairness is like spreading wealth around ! , and I believe only we in the US should have it !

Former Vice President Cheney said “the policies of this administration is making America unsafe and will continue to do so….”. Asked about a resolve , he suggested a mass coup to instill him as Dictator for Life arguing he had only a short amount of time left , considering his old age..

The Only exception to this rule is Israel. Israel stated Hamas is not a terrorist organization but a legitimately elected gove3rnment and does not count in the ceasefire move. Israel continues to maintain it’s position, it can attack elected regimes who are a threat keeping in line with it’s constitution.

As for the Sri Lankan’s like myself, we are just so mad ! We wanted this war to come to and end and now it seems that honestly and respect has descended upon this world.

This author chooses to remain anonymous , but you can take an easy guess, and you'll probably be right
Written 4 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Moslem for Congress ?

by the American Fox News Reporter

Vote for Faidh !!!!!!! Faidh for congress!!!!! Second Muslim to contest !!! Endorsed by the American Jewish Council and Council of US Moslems !!! Pro Abortion !!!

Yes those are the headlines and slogans associated with Ahmed
Ahmed Faidh Ramzee recently hosted a fund Raising dinner at a hotel somewhere in the middle of nowhere . Here he was seen expressing his support for gay marriage, abortion , Israel , the invasion of Iraq , but said quote "like to see troops out A.S.A.P, it is nearly 15 years now". Faidh who has never run for office before (except run to office everyday to get away from his wife as the joke goes) is apparently is highly excited about the prospect of becoming the first South Asian Moslim to enter capitol hill. In response to the joke Faidh says " yes this is a whole load easier ". (wouldn't want to ask his wife what she thought !!!!!!!) Asked on his thoughts he said "Errrrrrrrrrrrr......" ah that's right we all though he was an Arab at first.

Faidh campaign did not begin with champagne because Islam forbids it ! then how come he supports gay marriage ? Well he says "this is the USA, I can do what I want , you do what you want and errrrrrr......."

A recent smear campaign led by MZ Husni to bring into light the real reason why Faidh his once old chum is contesting the poll.s Apparently he has been "microchipped" by the NSA's secret programme titled " Operation Enslave Muslims". Husni uses evidence that Faidh does not walk through security check and machines because security will detect unusual bumps and gadgets in Faidh. Husni claims their are two problems in making people aware of this. "Firstly nobody believes in micro chipping people as they think it happens only in cartoons. Secondly 97 out of every 100 Americans do not know that an organization called the National Security Agency exists. To most everything is CIA, FBI, CTU blah blah . however the NSA is much better funded and much larger and plays a big role in maintaining US dominance over the world..
The US secret service claims Faidh is number 11 of the hit list of a terrorist organization. They claim he needs "special treatment" Husni argues otherwise. saying terrorists do not usually have hit lists, they kill anybody and they would even kill him. "FYI Faidh is the most protected Moslim in the USA and gets the most protection any muslim would get after the Saudi King and Iraqi Prime Minister " says MZ Husni

How exactly did Faidh end up in the USA ? after graduating from Manipal in 2012, he won the DV lottery and jumped on the offer. Completing his PR he became a citizen. One story goes that he embraced US politics and the lifestyle. The other is the story of MZ Husni, he was abducted and modified.


Who is MZ Husni ? MZ Husni is the chairman of the Organization of Change (the OC) What is his job ? MZ Husni spends most of his time of the pacific ocean on an Oil rig and the rest of his time in Hawei where his family lives. MZ Husni openly claims that quote "muslims have no right to interfere in the affairs on non Muslim countries." Well he is interfering in our OIL PRODUCTION ? hypocryte. well he argues otherwise saying "walk to work then!!!"

Faidh and MZ Husni did speak to each other , oh i meant against each other . On a recent debate hosted by Fox News, and JewTube (no not YouTube) , they argued against each other. Although it was clear who was the better speaker (MZ Husni ) , due to the no show of Husni's members the audience's vote was favoured in Faidh's favour by 979-979. Oh wait it was a tie. An they tossed a coin and Faidh won.

MZ Husni is highly paranoid. He claims the FBI held his supporter's Bus up somewhere in the name of national security. He also claims the coin was a fixed coin which would give the choice Faidh wanted. He claims that the vote was rigged Jeb Bush style (referring to the 2000 election) adding with Fox News nobody is safe.
As a news reporter for that network let me get one thing straight. Imagine life without Prison Break. Yes I know it is hard. Who do you think the public will believe now loser ?

At the end of the debate it is traditional to give your opponent a hug. Although this is also Moslim practise , Husni refused to do so...... saying quote "Faidh might abuse the picture showing that we have patched things up. Faidh's team might use it to gain favour among gay voters"

Why is Faidh campaigning anyway ? we asked him and you know what he said
"errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr """"""

Husni claims his microchip cannot process an answer for that question and it really mean "ERROR".

WHATEVER DUDES
YOU MOSLEMS ARE WEIRD
SIGNED
BIASED FOX NEW REPORTER

WISEPOINT 09824308 * SPELL IT MUSLIMS INSTEAD OF MOSLEMS
WISEPOINT 8830 * NEVER LET YOUR FRIENDS GO TO UNI AWAY FROM YOU. THEY CHANGE
WISEPOINT 0083* RUNNING TO OFFICE EVERY. DAY IS HARDER THAN RUNNING FOR OFFICE. USE A CAR OR TAKE PUBLIC TRANSPORT
WISEPOINT 98834 * IF YOU SEE A MUSLIM SUPPORTING GAY MARRIAGE !!! HE IS MICRO CHIPPED.


The above article is completely fake and fabricated. At no point do we mean to insult or offend anybody.

I'm 22.5% nerdy!
I must've quit the Boy Scouts before they got you good!

» Take the Nerd Test at MindViz

I have an IQ of 131!
I am in the 99th percentile!
This means that I did better than 99 percent of the people who have taken this test!

The average score for this test is 100.
The maximum score is 167.
The minimum score is 66.

» Take the IQ Test at MindViz

Hey, I know I haven't been blogging for ages. but I am typing this post just to tell you I have restarted my blogging and I have changed the name of the CoW II. I also have made a new blogging website (for school): www.omarzskool.blogspot.com.


wise point 3456789900: Never Stop blogging

Tuesday/Wednesday the 14^th depending on where you live in the world or in the universe. I entered through the school gates. Suddenly somebody says “Hosni what did you bring for ………..”. I got annoyed. I jokily asked my head boy to tell that person to stop bullying me. All the prefects were checking bags and I joined in. Unfortunately nobody brought any gifts today and once again our surprise bag checks led us to find only tip ex which is banned in school (since people can draw on desks but nevertheless some teachers ask students for it sometimes). Anyway after all was finished I went to calls. The dark girl , one of my friends ex ( will it seems that way or it could be a conspiracy and a cover up) told me “Happy Valentines day” I said “ I don’t celebrate it”. Right so next thing you know a dark fellow in my class (and a prefect and a boy I annoy and a Tamil) comes and tells me “I heard somebody does not celebrate Valentines Day.

So you want to know my I don’t celebrate it?

A: There are two reasons. The major one and the minor microscopic one.

So here goes.

It was 14^th of February 590 BC. I happened to live in Rome which was my home. My house over looked the Church of the World (or that’s what they called it) and I was watching somebody else being burned for claiming that the world was round and not flat. Pope Something the Haul was overseeing today’s congregation and I like most others decided not to go. Caesar was there asking everybody to worship him by claiming he could turn the oceans (but not comb his hair). He also claimed to say that one day he would rule the world and that he would live forever.

Rumour was spreading that a Saint called Valentine happened to be conduction secret weddings. Since he was Saint he was thought to become invisible when he wanted to and thus never be caught. People those days did not know the marriage rituals. I unfortunately had mastered them and also was carrying out secret weddings too and I even offered free honeymoons compared to "the so called Valentine’" claim of true love, which unfortunately never existed in those times except for blood and the Pope. Rome was a city with two faces. One a nasty dictator bent on taking the world and the other a peace loving Pope whose subjects were under the influence of the empire. Yet Caesar had the brain of a fish and I the brain of a ……………. Normal human (nobody was normal at that time). Anyway I told Caesar who happened to be my friend (because I conducted his112th and150th as well as his 77^th and 44 other wedding rituals) at that time that this guy was conducting secret marriages and he could not catch him. Causer a profound Christian with a pagan ideology believed me. Fool I thought, stupid idiot. I never mentioned it was I who was the person since I would get killed.

Anyway this saint never existed. It was I who conducted there weddings. Yet because I had fallout with some guy who refused to pay me for the rituals since he said that he wanted a tax receipt (which meant two buffaloes at that time), I told Caesar he was the guy and got him killed. I was neither a Christian nor a pagan then.

I made up this story that he was Mr. Valentine and I stopped conducted marriages. More men joined the army, to impress their girl friends, since they could not get married, Caesar was happy (and then got killed). The Church secretly said that Caesar was right but proclaimed Valentine a saint and thus Feb 14^th.

In the 500 years to come. The Roman Empire was finished, though Rome itself did not fall, we all migrated to seek greener pastures and to get married in the Islamic Empire (and to avoid getting recruited for the crusades which the we would lose). We all became Muslims since we would not have to burnt for saying the world was not flat and that God had children. Plus there was free food every Friday and weapons training everyday.

I told the Caliph and everybody around me the story and they threatened to kill me, but I told my fellow Muslims that I had no choice and that it was their fault since nobody was able to get married. Besides not could not afford two buffaloes.

So ladies and gentlemen, I created the theme of Valentines Day and now I regret and ask God for forgiveness.

That’s the minor reason

The major reason is Islam forbids Muslims from celebrating non Muslim festivals and holidays.

The Dream

I have no idea about what Islam says about dreams. Yet this dream is in Ramadan and I wonder if it is good or bad.

It all started after fajr when I have one and a half hours to sleep. My first dream was where I was an actor of a film set doing a song with a little child. And then it occurred (the dream)

I was getting married or rather engaged and my age seemed only 19. The only thing in Sri Lanka is that we do the engagements and weddings differently so this was more like and engagement but mixed (whereas in sir lank they are segregated in contrary to our wedding)

Well it seemed that the function was going on rather like a party. I had never met my “bride”. Now it starts. I was always walking around with her brother. You know who he looked like? The Syrian president but he wasn’t the Syrian President but rather her brother only and Sri Lankan. Now what’s so exciting? Well it seemed that I was actually “thinking” in this dream and I had learnt of a conspiracy by him to kill me and his sister. I knew what devices he was going to use and stuff.
So we walked around and talked a lot and he gave me gifts in an irregular pattern. I knew which one contained the “explosives”. At one stage I excused myself and went to the “very dirty toilet” and flushed it down the commode. Sad to say, it was made of gold. Anyway it seemed funny that these thoughts seemed coming to me, but I had no memory of where I had learned about this “conspiracy”
Although I cannot remember what happened during this event, I can say there was no Nikkah (registration). But I remember looking at my “bride” from far and she was okay looking a but fair, not exactly one of those beauty queens but a normal pretty (what I would have expected found by mother girl). In addition she was wearing the hijab (not a norm at our pre-wedding or wedding functions), which was more like a shawl.
In the end we were all talking around my mother, and I remember telling my mama something like this
“You taking a risk with an engineering student”
And I remember this “girl” my wife as saying something like
“I am the one taking the risk”

And she said “come lets go home, I’ll make you some dinner “, but I don’t understand that since an engagement you usually get food.
Finally out of the norm this girl said come lets go home, and I just went outside this hall and I cannot remember my exit. But the outside was exactly like outside my home, but opps I forgot to say the inside resembled the Hilton Sri Lanka Ballroom. Everything outside looked the same including the garment factory opposite. There were many cars and I suddenly realized “shouldn’t I be having a car?” I put my hand into my pocket and there was a key. I pressed the button on it (although I cannot remember feeling this “button”) and a small stylish car’s alarm was deactivated. I asked my wife to get in and suddenly when I was about to get in, 2 guys get of a motor bike on the top of my lane at the turn. They are dressed in black and carry machine guns. I try to start the car and get away (and I am wondering why they are not shooting)

Suddenly I get tensed and then it happens. I realize that I am awake and this was a dream. The picture is frozen in my mind but the only way to continue this “dream” was to fantasize it, and I voted against doing it. I woke, looked at the time, went back to sleep and got up half an hour later to go to school.

I’ll tell you one thing the dream was scary and I remember that the experience was better, there were more evens but like most dreams it is impossible to remember everything. It’s the dream to have, when I was in that situation it was scary and when I got up I realized it was a dream, I was so annoyed cus it was the first time I was annoyed at getting out of a scary dream unlike before.


Wise Point 09800983* None

Could any one of you tell me what is the point of this dream ?

Presidents and Prime Minister (Part I)

Ehud Olmert was on his way to meet the President of Israel Moshe Katsav. The President's office was largely a sybolic gesture and in the current Israeli conflict ( or not current Conflict since Israel has been in conflict since it's inception) he has little or no part to play in the decisions pertainng to the invasion of Israel's northern neighbour. Yet if one examines Israel's 68 year old or young constittution , the President not the Prime Minister can actually solve this problem. Then if so why does he not ? Simply because it would go against the ethics of a non executive figure head of state to take decisions on his own without consulting the Prime Minister (without whose supposrt , the President cannot actually occupy office).
> In reality the President only power is the power that can be used to solve the crisis. All his other powers have to be exercised with the advice or aid of some other branch of government. Well this power does not.
What is this power ? The power to pardon , the power to pardon criminals and commute sentences. In other words if their was anybody who was going to decide whether to end this conflict it was the man occupying the post which In 1952 Albert Einstein declined. Well that's a nice consituition ...... you get a nice house , car , security , free self piloted air force trips , no blame for anything that goes wrong in the country office where the worst thing you have to do is attend funerals.
As Ehud Olmert was arriving at the gate of the Presidetial palace ,he wondered what he should adress the person who once occupied a post less significant that his , deputy premiership. He fatanzied the possibility that if Moshe Katsav was still in government he'd have worked under him. But no , now he'd have to adress a man who was Shane Warne type of person (he a habit of acting improperly towards women, im multiple occasions acting in a manner openly described as sexual harassment ) as Good Afternoon your excellency. He entered the the Palace and was escorted by a man in a fuuny looking hat ( whom he only thought existed in Denmark ) to the waiting room. As a waiter served him a drink ..... he looked around again making plans for his retirement with the President and making a mental note not to overwork himself like Sharon for otherwise he might end up in a Coma. He waited and got impatient. He felt the urgent need to shout "Do you know that even the President of the United States , the world's second most powerful man {after me of course since I control him} does not keep me waiting so long.
> The President arrives after 17 minutes and 52 seconds according to the stop watch on the Prime Minister's Omega platinum plated gold and silver lined watch [ made in Israel by the way They greet each other like good people and discuss "homely " topics before moving on to the war situation. The President goes first " Common chum , you know we could save billions by just handing over a few hundred prisoners back to them ?". Olmert replies " I know , but did you think that was the cause of this full scale invasion ?'". President " Your not saying that Syria and my "homeland" [ i.e.Iran] are the target then ? " [laughing]. Olmert " Of course not , our target it to destroy the only group that ever ever ever bloody forced us to retreat ....... did you watch " CNN present ", for once in my life I felt ashamed to be a citizen of Israel when they aired to the world the fact espeacially since me and Warner are close buddies (and also since his 3rd wife is from Israel and happens to be my cousin) ". .
The President continued "well personally I would prefer that we don't go to war", what's the use?


FAST FOWARD

The war had ended and Olmert was once more at the President's house. This time however it was the President who had urgently called him and Olmert deduced that he was looking for political support in order to prevent being removed from office despite all the scandals that were surrounding him. "Mr.President , what is it now ?" asked Olmert impatiently knowing that he had the upper hand . " Now now Ehud , don't get too carried away , there is great importance in this metting " was the firm but somewhat sacastinc reply from Moshe Katsav.
President continued "Now Olmert , you know that the current scandals that are rocking my office and neither good for me or the party ". "Party , what party , firstly sir I am from Kadima , not the Likud Party which you are from , and secondly even their chairman has denounced your actions as harmful not only to the party but to the state ". "So what do you suppose I do ?" the President asked. "Oh so now it comes to this , my head of state is asking me for advice , tell you what sir , you should put the state before sex , many leaders today work for the betterment of the state , not utilize it's public office to bring disgrace to it. Personally as you know out party has always stood for a system where the executive is directly elected , and the legilative body elected seperately . Although we prefer an executive Prime Minister , some circles in our party have considered drawing up a new constituition to elect an executive President. Sir , with all due respect , any press is not good press , bad press means bad press, and the last thing we want is a Bill Clinton like administration " "So you suggesting that I resign ?" inquired the President. "You played no significant political part in the Lebanon crisis , you merely a figurehead who attends funerals ... you think your budget is meant to be used for your pleasure .......... our legilator prefer if the President would act as an icon for the jewish state . promote us , promote our values, promote peace , and promote harmony. So Mr.President, I personally do not want to see you face impeachment ....... so I suggest you start talking your poistion seriously , act with dignity , and consciouslly. Moshe Katsav looked out of his window , in deep thought wondering what he should do. He turned around to make his reply , but the Prime Minister had left. In the distance he heard the Prime Minister's motorcade leave .. phew he thought he had had enough for one day